The Republic of Thorn34 is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its parental licensing program, enslaved workforce, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 9.975 billion Thorn34ians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 79.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Thorn34ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,426 trillion kronor a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 142,978 kronor, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

A video of Leader wearing shock-blue face paint and smashing an electric guitar in front of a frenzied crowd is on endless repeat on the nightly news, politicians who vacation in East Lebatuck lose their jobs upon their return, UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news, and the "daily grind" consists of levelling up in tedious video games. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thorn34's national animal is the cobra, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Thorn34 is ranked 300,151^st in the world and 4^th in You Just Got Raided for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 23.26 on the Bus Surprisal Index.