The Borderlands of Thistledom is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Thistle with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 45.437 billion Thistledoms are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, although Defense and Healthcare are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New London. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Thistledom economy, worth an astonishing 11,596 trillion euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 255,218 euros, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 774,923 per year while the poor average 65,321, a ratio of 11.9 to 1.

Rumor has it that Thistle has won three lotteries in a row, doctors accused of having no heart reply that cardiology isn't their speciality, the most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita, and planes with cockpit glass are reserved for the top pilots. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Thistledom's national animal is the lynx, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Thistledom is ranked 12,999^th in the world and 2^nd in Haiku for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 6,326.87 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.