The Council Communistic Islands of The Pinelands is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Jovnnás Gállábárdni with a fair hand, and notable for its punitive income tax rates, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 8.244 billion Pinelanders are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vuoražas Hámman. The average income tax rate is 66.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but stagnant Pinelander economy, worth 101 trillion Ruhtas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Cheese Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 12,254 Ruhtas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation grinds to a halt on the anniversary of every marginally noteworthy event, Jovnnás Gállábárdni's peyote-induced "let's all just be friends" speech is trending world-wide, the government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one, and Jovnnás Gállábárdni has just been declared ruler of The Pinelands in an international press conference. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Pinelands's national animal is the Reindeer.

The Pinelands is ranked 221,942^nd in the world and 1^st in Panketa Aerqyh for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 224.65 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.