The Allied States of The Ohio River is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Glorious Leader with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 4.026 billion Riverii enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Greater Cincinnati. The average income tax rate is 93.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Riverian economy, worth 474 trillion buckeyes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 117,829 buckeyes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Politicians spend more time in courtrooms than in Parliament, parents dread their examinations more than their children, soldiers who shoot themselves in the foot are regarded as heroes, and one can wake up in The Ohio River and have breakfast in Bigtopia. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Ohio River's national animal is the cardinal, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is WORSHIP GLORIOUS LEADER.

The Ohio River is ranked 13,322^nd in the world and 784^th in Balder for Nicest Citizens, with 28.32 average smiles per day.