The Militant Techno-Theocracy of The Facetaps is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by God-Empress Valcior with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, state-planned economy, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 14.301 billion Facetaps are proud of their wide-ranging civil freedoms, and those who aren't tend to be dragged off the streets by men in dark suits and hustled into cars with tinted windows.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tapestry. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Facetapsian economy, worth a remarkable 6,089 trillion CSPC Units a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 425,795 CSPC Units, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Women have a strange proclivity for dressing up as caped weasels, the government's economic policy can be summed up as "Abort, Retry, Fail?", friendly fire incidents usually result in severe burns, and "It was only a joke" is no longer a defense for the felony of discrimination. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. The Facetaps's national animal is the Bee, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cult Valcius.

The Facetaps is ranked 767^th in the world and 1^st in Central Scientific Progress Coalition for Lowest Crime Rates, with 177.48 law-abiding acts per hour.