The Republic of The Colorado Avalanche is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its pith helmet sales, vat-grown people, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 11.363 billion Colorado Avalancheans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Colorado. The average income tax rate is 70.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Colorado Avalanchean economy, worth a remarkable 1,504 trillion francs a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 132,398 francs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

The nation has gained millions of new citizens overnight, it is popularly believed that "cheese every day keeps disaster away", the hit new medical TV show "Home" prominently features the brand of painkiller the lead doctor is addicted to, and it ain't easy to be green enough to be imported into The Colorado Avalanche. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Colorado Avalanche's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Hockey.

The Colorado Avalanche is ranked 260,140^th in the world and 9,095^th in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -189.55 on the Scary Big Number Scale.