The United Socialist Republic of The Catholic State of Eire is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Taoiseach Pádraig MacCraith with an even hand, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, prohibition of alcohol, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 23.014 billion Éireannacha are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, moralistic morass — juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Baile Átha Cliath. The average income tax rate is 99.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Éireannach economy, worth a remarkable 3,564 trillion Punts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 154,902 Punts, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Photographers can be found hiding behind the curtains in Taoiseach Pádraig MacCraith's bedroom, military information leaks are **REDACTED** by **REDACTED** in **REDACTED**, trying to toast marshmallows in an electric fireplace just isn't the same, and teen boys and girls find stick-figure-aided lectures on their comradestruation emphasises socialist unity more than biology. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Catholic State of Eire's national animal is the Irish Wolfhound, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is the Catholic Church in Éire.

The Catholic State of Eire is ranked 9,551^st in the world and 4^th in Right to Life for Highest Poor Incomes, with 127,415.38 Standard Monetary Units.