The Holy Empire of Thalassium is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Aetius Flavius Catio with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, punitive income tax rates, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 16.084 billion Thalassians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Thalassiopia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 65.2%.

The Thalassiumian economy, worth 672 trillion Shells a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Woodchip Exports, and Pizza Delivery. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 41,798 Shells, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Many in Thalassium are born in the purple, a stocking with a crooked seam or a tie without a full Windsor knot are grounds for instant dismissal, vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction, and people are moving into treehouses in record numbers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thalassium's national animal is the Orca, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Thalassiac.

Thalassium is ranked 310,585^th in the world and 14^th in Mystria for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -5.48 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.