The Empire of Stefflandia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Sir Kaiser with an even hand, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, aversion to nipples, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, devout population of 15.836 billion Stefflandians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Federal District of Berlin. The average income tax rate is 72.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Stefflandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,286 trillion § Simoleons a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 81,226 § Simoleons, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough, male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness', the institution of marriage is held sacred and strictly enforced, and organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Stefflandia's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Stefflandia is ranked 38,168^th in the world and 2,213^th in Lazarus for Highest Food Quality, scoring 43.97 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.