The Republic of South Waziristan is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by General Al-Kash with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, prohibition of alcohol, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 3.114 billion South Waziristanis are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Al-Mashallah. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 16.1%.

The frighteningly efficient South Waziristanian economy, worth 411 trillion Ziris a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Gambling. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 132,075 Ziris, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 833,573 per year while the poor average 8,761, a ratio of 95.1 to 1.

Toy versions of heroin paraphernalia let kids pretend to be their favourite TV characters, international organisations everywhere are united in their condemnation of the nation's zombified military (South Waziristan has found 1 easter egg), newspapers print only headlines, and South Waziristanis believe a soft answer turneth away wrath but punitive punishment is much more fun. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. South Waziristan's national animal is the Camel, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Sunni Islam.

South Waziristan is ranked 283,886^th in the world and 10,859^th in Lazarus for Highest Food Quality, scoring 5.16 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.