The Federal Republic of Socialize is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Vami Kornuoll with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.864 billion Socializeans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of страна рынков. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 30.7%.

The strong Socializean economy, worth 142 trillion Rubles a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 49,796 Rubles, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 174,289 per year while the poor average 10,334, a ratio of 16.9 to 1.

When conspiracy theorists talk about "government moles" they're referring to mysteriously mobile skin lesions, chocolate in Socialize has its flavour enhanced by the salty tears of enslaved factory workers, a nickname of "Doctor Death" probably indicates a decorated war hero, and only those who apply can study applied maths. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Socialize's national animal is the Bull, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Socialize is ranked 268,705^th in the world and 582^nd in The Communist Bloc for Most Cultured, scoring 60 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.