The Lesser Version of Socialist Poles is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Orving with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, prohibition of alcohol, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.309 billion Poles are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Education are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Krakow. The average income tax rate is 78.8%.

The all-consuming Polish economy, worth a remarkable 1,307 trillion Nones a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 157,374 Nones, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Contemporary art museums showcase the latest in centuries-old art, twins move across the country to avoid being accused of the other's crimes, Tetris has been banned for its graphic violent content, and reassembling shredded papers is the highlight of a spy's day. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Socialist Poles's national animal is the Ligma, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Socialist Poles is ranked 273,390^th in the world and 10,156^th in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 8.33 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.