The Tiny Empire of Smol is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, avowedly heterosexual populace, and frequent executions. The hard-working, democratic, devout population of 3.837 billion Smolians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, pro-business, outspoken government is primarily concerned with Administration, although Defense, Welfare, and Public Transport are also considered important, while Environment and International Aid receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.9%.

The thriving Smolian economy, worth 207 trillion marks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Pizza Delivery, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 54,102 marks, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 252,668 per year while the poor average 6,931, a ratio of 36.5 to 1.

Napalm is the tool of choice for disabling eco-unfriendly forestry operations, a popular Smolian saying is 'wishing upon a fallen jet engine', parents are relieved they no longer need to help with their kids' algebra homework, and the criminal underworld is dominated by cupcake smugglers and back-alley doughnut shops. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Smol's national animal is the tiger, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Smol is ranked 158,070^th in the world and 61^st in Catholic for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.