The Republic of Smithiscia is a huge, efficient nation, ruled by Mr Thirty-Squirrels-In-Trench-Coat with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, keen interest in outer space, and smutty television. The compassionate, democratic population of 937 million Smithiscians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Écureuilville. The average income tax rate is 73.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Smithiscian economy, worth 107 trillion Bonks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 114,439 Bonks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Smithiscia as a reminder of their "special relationship", young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus, the Ministry of Health has reported a sharp increase in the incidence of delayed menopause, and old people living in plastic bubbles complain about a new type of social isolation. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Smithiscia's national animal is the Squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Smithiscia is ranked 15,989^th in the world and 3^rd in Highspellia for Smartest Citizens, with 75.63 quips per hour.