The Republic of Slow Burn is a very large, safe nation, remarkable for its irreverence towards religion, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 232 million Slow Burnians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 48.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but sluggish Slow Burnian economy, worth 6.55 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Furniture Restoration, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 28,217 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Slow Burn's national animal is the parrot.

Slow Burn is ranked 143,986^th in the world and 1^st in Cymopolia for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring zero on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.