The Hellish Reality of Schlueter is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Jason with an even hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, free-roaming dinosaurs, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 36.008 billion Schleens enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, pro-business individuals is primarily concerned with Law & Order, with Industry, Healthcare, and Public Transport also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tucson. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Schleen economy, worth an astonishing 10,570 trillion buttons a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 293,562 buttons, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,701,850 per year while the poor average 24,049, a ratio of 70.8 to 1.

Tucson has restaurants serving every meat from aardvark to zebra, mall countdown clocks warn that there are only 364 more shopping days until Maxxmas, the dartboard at the Schleen Cancer Research Charity bears a picture of Jason's face, and the government has spent days debating the merits of a petition calling for a ban on sporks. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Schlueter's national animal is the Gila Monster, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Schlueter is ranked 21,927^th in the world and 1,526^th in Lazarus for Most Corrupt Governments, with 93.77 kickbacks per hour.