The Loving Couple of Sapphic-Witches is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Abomaton with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, infamous sell-swords, and compulsory vegetarianism. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 8.914 billion Sapphic-Witchesians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Education also on the agenda, while Welfare and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Just Skulls 2. The average income tax rate is 60.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Sapphic-Witchesian economy, worth 970 trillion snails a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 108,878 snails, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

Surrealist houses shaped like mushrooms and volcanoes dominate the wealthiest neighborhoods, straitjackets are a common religious garb, therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads, and it turns out that you actually can put a price on intangible cultural heritage. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sapphic-Witches's national animal is the owl and its national religion is Cards.

Sapphic-Witches is ranked 63,160^th in the world and 4^th in Eastern Roman Empire for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,608.11 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.