The Dominion of Root is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Guru with an iron fist, and notable for its pith helmet sales, strictly enforced bedtime, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 29.144 billion Rootians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Administration, although Education, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Codebase. The average income tax rate is 84.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Rootian economy, worth a remarkable 5,072 trillion Euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 174,032 Euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description, legend has it Guru's shower singing echoes through the halls of government, popular websites like NationStates are blocked for "national security", and the dictionary is a common first book for children. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Root's national animal is the Penguin, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is CodeGods.

Root is ranked 7,483^rd in the world and 1^st in The Cuckoos Egg for Most Corrupt Governments, with 188.8 kickbacks per hour.