The Abandoned Nation of Puppet of Port Apotti is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Drake the Poor with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, zero percent divorce rate, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, devout population of 8.733 billion Apottians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hwordtown. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 50.6%.

The thriving Apottian economy, worth 647 trillion Axixi Ian Pesos a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 74,117 Axixi Ian Pesos, with the richest citizens earning 8.0 times as much as the poorest.

Autopsies often involve only cursory examination, judges are all-powerful, savvy students quote paywalled research knowing that university lecturers can't afford to check the citations, and all the playground's a stage for Apottian schoolchildren. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Puppet of Port Apotti's national animal is the Jaguar, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Apottism.

Puppet of Port Apotti is ranked 295,748^th in the world and 1,238^th in Lily for Most Cultured, scoring 49 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.