The Eternal Assurance of Phaphonies is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Francisco Baltazar with a fair hand, and remarkable for its otherworldly petting zoo, smutty television, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.317 billion Sagen are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Iloilo. The average income tax rate is 82.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Sagan economy, worth 878 trillion Tabs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 138,913 Tabs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

When people want to start a family the government helps them planet carefully, nine-year-olds are discovering that they can grow gardens in real life too, getting an autograph has become harder than ever, and economic output is rising as the chronically depressed are persuaded not to burden society. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Phaphonies's national animal is the Jaguarundi, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is New Sincerity.

Phaphonies is ranked 6,967^th in the world and 3^rd in The Embassy for Least Corrupt Governments, with 94.7 percentage of bribes refused.