The People's Republic of Free Laos is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Comrade D Souphanouvong with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, punitive income tax rates, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, devout population of 3.085 billion Laotians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, moralistic government prioritizes Administration, with Law & Order, Education, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Red Vientiane. The average income tax rate is 90.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient fully Lao economy, worth 291 trillion Lao kips a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Tourism, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 94,378 Lao kips, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Clergy do their best to cover up their old tattoos, the opposition leader's credibility has been undermined by constant attention drawn to a dodgy toupee, an endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc, and major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Free Laos's national animal is the Indian elephant, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Theravada Buddhism.

Free Laos is ranked 29,403^rd in the world and 177^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Patriotic, with 38.93 flags saluted per person per day.