The Lesbian Spy of Penland I is a huge, cultured nation, renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, ubiquitous missile silos, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, devout population of 816 million Penland Iians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Welfare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Land Pen. The average income tax rate is 71.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Penland Iian economy, worth 42.4 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Tourism, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 51,902 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Foreign musicians that Leader dislikes are turned away at the border, park rangers perform full-body searches on suspected fungus smugglers, black tea is only available on the black market, and protests are illegal. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Penland I's national animal is the Eagle.

Penland I is ranked 299,930^th in the world and 53^rd in Goninan for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 14,844.2 Standard Monetary Units.