The Empire of Pandoska is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Cesarz Demetriusz IV with an iron fist, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, keen interest in outer space, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 19.064 billion Pandoskans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wołyńsk. The average income tax rate is 99.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Pandoskan economy, worth a remarkable 8,782 trillion Imperial Zloties a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 460,683 Imperial Zloties, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Weather forecasts regularly cover meteor showers, subsistence farmers require doctorates in applied sowing, retirees make up the bulk of foreign students, and wars are forgotten but not forgiven. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pandoska's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Trinitarian Jahovism.

Pandoska is ranked 52,924^th in the world and 17^th in Saint Helene for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,875.7 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.