The Colony of Painted Turtle Island is a massive, safe nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and state-planned economy. The devout population of 2.133 billion Painted Turtle Islandians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Spirituality, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 28.8%.

The strong Painted Turtle Islandian economy, worth 140 trillion scudoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Trout Farming, Information Technology, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 65,647 scudoes, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

Kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, those who sing the national anthem off-key have the key thrown away, a blood-red mark on the doorframe means a building must be passed over for destruction, and convicted criminals are given free limo rides to jail. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Painted Turtle Island's national animal is the whale, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Painted Turtle Island is ranked 99,825^th in the world and 4^th in Polychrome Archipelago for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 928.84 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.