The Sharper Image of Nocutter is a mammoth, socially progressive nation, ruled by Gary the Safety Woodpecker with a fair hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, public floggings, and daily referendums. The hard-working, democratic population of 7.916 billion Nocutterians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Scissors Run. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.5%.

The all-consuming Nocutterian economy, worth 687 trillion simoleons a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 86,759 simoleons, with the richest citizens earning 8.5 times as much as the poorest.

Children high on sugar can often be seen bouncing off walls, a new "thought police" branch is being developed, everyone wants to be on the guest list for diplomatic parties, and engaged partners detail their fiancés' private lives in detail to prurient bureaucrats. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Nocutter's national animal is the woodpecker, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Nocutter is ranked 108,853^rd in the world and 8^th in Haiku for Least Corrupt Governments, with 93.28 percentage of bribes refused.