The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by John Koenig with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, zero percent divorce rate, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 9.343 billion Sorrowsians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nazarick. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Sorrowsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,412 trillion Minoes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 151,129 Minoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Statistics show that terrorists often come from broken families, the government frequently panders to parents with boutique tax credits, rare steaks seem even bluer now, and public hospital staff roll their eyes at anything less than a heart attack. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Obscure Sorrows's national animal is the lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Morii.

Obscure Sorrows is ranked 50,969^th in the world and 883^rd in the South Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 27.11 flags saluted per person per day.