The Guarded Realms of Moszce-Walvard is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Grand Archduke Waalvisz VII with an even hand, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, compulsory gun ownership, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 4.229 billion Moszce-Walvardians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of San Vardetta. The average income tax rate is 93.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Moszce-Walvardian economy, worth 789 trillion Kruppels a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 186,640 Kruppels, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Today's secret ingredients are blood, sweat, and tears, in musicals everybody's a little bit racist, terrorism and assassination are tried-and-true methods of political activism, and cultural heritage is measured in Scoville Heat Units. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Moszce-Walvard's national animal is the whale, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Moszce-Walvard is ranked 10,939^th in the world and 680^th in Balder for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 5,167.71 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.