The Commonwealth of Monarchist Kolokia is a mammoth, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 5.231 billion Monarchist Kolokians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 72.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Monarchist Kolokian economy, worth 102 trillion Koins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Information Technology, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 19,468 Koins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Harry Potter books are banned, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, recent events in Dàguó have been classified 'for Leader's eyes only', and organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Monarchist Kolokia's national animal is the Kolokian Embroy, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Monarchist Kolokia is ranked 244,335^th in the world and 3^rd in Halfworthia for Least Corrupt Governments, with 90.99 percentage of bribes refused.