The Empire of Metsat is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Vilzo with an even hand, and remarkable for its otherworldly petting zoo, daily referendums, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 4.006 billion Metsatians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kouvola. The average income tax rate is 92.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Metsatian economy, worth 576 trillion Terhoes a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 143,861 Terhoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Flipping a coin to make a decision leads to a referral to Gambling Addiction Services, residents of houses built on a foundation of wishful thinking are prone to an odd sinking feeling, the government prides itself on being smug and condescending to idiots, and kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Metsat's national animal is the Kuukko, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Chillax.

Metsat is ranked 241,880^th in the world and 315^th in Nordic Lands for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.78 kickbacks per hour.