The Grand Republic of Malvad is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by President Sir Grant Alexander with a fair hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, free-roaming dinosaurs, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The compassionate, democratic, humorless, devout population of 20.111 billion Malvadians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it prioritizes Education, although Law & Order, Environment, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mavis. The average income tax rate is 97.1%.

The strong Malvadian economy, worth a remarkable 1,899 trillion Modarns a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration and Tourism. Average income is 94,442 Modarns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Ministry of Health has reported a sharp increase in the incidence of delayed menopause, the country is rumored to be a Brancalandian puppet state, Brancalandian Brie isn't available anywhere in Malvad, and statues of famous citizens are erected or demolished on a purely partisan basis. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malvad's national animal is the Sea Turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Malvadianism.

Malvad is ranked 119,377^th in the world and 1,986^th in The North Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 134.9 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.