The Phoenix-Human Aviandom of Malalonius is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by King Mal and Lady Hawaa with an even hand, and remarkable for its teetotalling pirates, free-roaming dinosaurs, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 5.173 billion Malalonians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Dubai. The average income tax rate is 92.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Malalonian economy, worth 692 trillion Dhahabs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Basket Weaving, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 133,821 Dhahabs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has spread itself thin, beaches are empty as the shark population multiplies exponentially, no one questions why the chicken crossed the road anymore, and New Dubai University is said to be the modern-day Tower of Babel. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malalonius's national animal is the Malalonian Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Sunni Islam.

Malalonius is ranked 297,512^th in the world and 19^th in Hells Lounge for Highest Drug Use, scoring 9.41 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.