The Phoenix-Human Aviandom of Malalonius is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by King Mal and Lady Hawaa with an even hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, avowedly heterosexual populace, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 4.56 billion Malalonians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Dubai. The average income tax rate is 92.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Malalonian economy, worth 598 trillion Dhahabs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Basket Weaving, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 131,166 Dhahabs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Five-hundred-twenty-five-thousand-six-hundred revivals is how theatre-goers measure a year, crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters, the government has spread itself thin, and beaches are empty as the shark population multiplies exponentially. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malalonius's national animal is the Malalonian Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Sunni Islam.

Malalonius is ranked 8,692^nd in the world and 1^st in Hells Lounge for Most Developed, scoring 91.26 on the Human Development Index.