The Digital Nation of Malabo is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, enslaved workforce, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 30.138 billion Malaboans enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Malabo City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Malaboan economy, worth a remarkable 6,231 trillion xafs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Gambling, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 206,774 xafs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,916,778 per year while the poor average 2,115, a ratio of 906 to 1.

Employees are told they can avoid traffic jams by starting work at 4 AM, members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods, international humanitarian organisations are applauding the government for ending the death penalty, and mall countdown clocks warn that there are only 364 more shopping days until Maxxmas. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Malabo's national animal is the lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is a major religion.

Malabo is ranked 281,287^th in the world and 10,489^th in Osiris for Most Primitive, scoring -356.3 on the Scary Big Number Scale.