The Irish Dictatorship of Lavallin is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Dictator Dan with an iron fist, and notable for its enslaved workforce, punitive income tax rates, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 44.322 billion Lavallinians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lavallin City. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Lavallinian economy, worth an astonishing 11,774 trillion Lavalans a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 265,646 Lavalans, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

When flight control tells pilots to alter course the usual reply is "No, YOU move!", no one believes anything until it has been strenuously tested and peer-reviewed, it's widely agreed that to tennis players love means nothing, and foreign governments are threatened if they so much as mention the word "election". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lavallin's national animal is the Vicious Raptor, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christian.

Lavallin is ranked 12,382^nd in the world and 723^rd in Lazarus for Highest Food Quality, scoring 147.04 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.