The Serene Commonwealth of Lac Champlain is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by The Rhazoid with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, ubiquitous missile silos, and keen interest in outer space. The democratic, devout population of 11.072 billion Lac Champlainians are known throughout the region for their efficiency and work ethic, as well as their general suspicion of leisure.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Spirituality, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eladria. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 74.2%.

The large but inefficient Lac Champlainian economy, worth 467 trillion marks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 42,175 marks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 125,642 per year while the poor average 11,091, a ratio of 11.3 to 1.

The military perceives nations hit by natural disasters as "easy pickings", interviewees for teaching jobs are waterboarded to "reveal undesirable histories", schoolchildren are divided over The Rhazoid's "Why Tigers are Cooler than Lions" speech, and former school buses now regularly shuttle kids to the nearest shopping centers to work. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lac Champlain's national animal is the swan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Lac Champlain is ranked 196,585^th in the world and 95^th in Eladria for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring -4 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.