The Golden Empire of Kratistolies is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by The Primarch with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, national health service, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful population of 21.559 billion Kratosians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kallipolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Kratosian economy, worth a remarkable 9,718 trillion Drachmas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 450,774 Drachmas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Professionals are ready to retire by the time they receive permission to use their credentials, citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons, Kratistolies isn't what it used to be, and a favorite "life hack" for gap year backpackers is to pretend to be homeless for government handouts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kratistolies's national animal is the Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Atheistic State Worship.

Kratistolies is ranked 293,365^th in the world and 11,504^th in Lazarus for Highest Disposable Incomes, with zero Standard Monetary Units.