The Holy Apostolic Church of Klopstock is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Chancellor Friedrich with an even hand, and renowned for its public floggings, complete lack of public education, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 34.608 billion Klopstockians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, liberal, pro-business individuals is primarily concerned with Education, although Healthcare and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Klopstock City. Income tax is unheard of.

The all-consuming Klopstockian economy, worth a remarkable 8,397 trillion tacoes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Retail, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 242,656 tacoes, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,260,538 per year while the poor average 2,339, a ratio of 966 to 1.

A three-year-old has been selected to run the civil service, belligerent citizens shoot at passing clouds for 'violating their airspace', truncheon-mounted cameras record the beating of criminals in dynamic HD detail, and patriotic citizens simply tend to applaud rather than sing the nation's praises. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Klopstock's national animal is the Lemming, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Klopstock is ranked 824^th in the world and 12^th in 10000 Islands for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 20,877.84 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.