The Empire of Kezzys is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Emperor Caesar with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, national health service, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 7.993 billion Kezzysians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Constantinople. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Kezzysian economy, worth a remarkable 1,465 trillion Euros a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Basket Weaving, and Retail. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 183,334 Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Giant beards and handlebar moustaches are increasingly popular, the Treasury Minister takes anxiety medication every time kids lose their sports kits, business owners return from long vacations to find their factories have been turned into homeless shelters, and Emperor Caesar claims tax rises are the result of 'curses'. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kezzys's national animal is the Gorilla, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Judaism.

Kezzys is ranked 286,456^th in the world and 449^th in The League for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -17.66 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.