The Colony of Keotani is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Bfind with an even hand, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, free-roaming dinosaurs, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 5.513 billion Keotanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tonike. The average income tax rate is 34.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Keotanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,043 trillion inoes a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 189,256 inoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Bfind reduces citizens' commute times by giving away their homes, Bfind is quite hard to get a hold of, orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents, and children are often punished for the sins of the fathers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Keotani's national animal is the Grey crowned crane, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Technocracy.

Keotani is ranked 288,745^th in the world and 4,085^th in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -579.97 on the Scary Big Number Scale.