The United States of Jon4de is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Jon with an even hand, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, punitive income tax rates, and complete absence of social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, cheerful, devout population of 25.79 billion Jon4deans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New York. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 53.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Jon4dean economy, worth a remarkable 6,287 trillion Dollars a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Retail. Average income is an amazing 243,806 Dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 713,292 per year while the poor average 65,769, a ratio of 10.8 to 1.

Former school buses now regularly shuttle kids to the nearest shopping centers to work, guns don't kill people — heroes do, short is not always sweet, and men who wear pink are seen as dangerously unmanly. Crime is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Jon4de's national animal is the Caribou, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Jon4de is ranked 5,329^th in the world and 403^rd in Lazarus for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 112,882.2 Standard Monetary Units.