The Frigid Republic of Ice is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by President Vanilla Ice with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, public floggings, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.297 billion Iceans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Iceberg. The average income tax rate is 90.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Icean economy, worth a remarkable 2,629 trillion Ice Cubes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Retail, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 232,799 Ice Cubes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Turning the other cheek is accompanied by a polite letter of complaint, convicted crypto-miners are sent to the salt mines, the nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea, and young people avoid opening doors for the elderly with impunity. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ice's national animal is the Iceman, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is the Church of Ice.

Ice is ranked 288,682^nd in the world and 57^th in The Card Mine for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2.79 pounds of wildlife per square mile.