The Hello of Hi is a titanic, orderly nation, remarkable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 20.408 billion Hians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 57.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Hian economy, worth a remarkable 3,149 trillion Golds a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 154,305 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure, visitors to Hi are microchipped and must be escorted by a Hian soldier - even to the bathroom, tourists soak their luggage in boiling water before unpacking, and anti-vaxxers claim that injected children are prone to psychotic breaks when they see the 'Queen of Diamonds' playing card. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hi's national animal is the Elephant, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Hi is ranked 268,145^th in the world and 27^th in St Abbaddon for Longest Average Lifespans, with 61.32 years.