The Empire of Haeltopia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Lord Hael with an iron fist, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, free-roaming dinosaurs, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1 billion Haeltopians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Serpentine Sitadel. The average income tax rate is 46.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Haeltopian economy, worth 125 trillion bitcoins a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 125,798 bitcoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Massive new slaughterhouses are being hailed as a sign of progress, the native owl population is in permanent hibernation, whales in captivity live in little more than glorified goldfish bowls, and Lord Hael has been self-declared as the Most Supreme Magnificent Overlord of Everything You Ever Saw. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Haeltopia's national animal is the snake, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Haeltopia is ranked 298,603^rd in the world and 255^th in Kelios for Highest Food Quality, scoring 5.87 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.