The Rice Farming District of Gilbertion is a huge, efficient nation, ruled by Lustig Von Kriegiston with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, complete lack of prisons, and national health service. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 797 million Gilbertionians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Giltopia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 49.2%.

The all-consuming Gilbertionian economy, worth 81.6 trillion Geros a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 102,354 Geros, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Criminals always seem to be forewarned of police raids, torture is commonly used to extract information from suspected criminals, extraordinary rendition is nothing out of the ordinary, and citizens are told that foreigners are hungry ghosts who eat the flesh of the overly curious. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gilbertion's national animal is the Mudskipper in a M2a2 Bradley, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Gilbertion is ranked 309,583^rd in the world and 48^th in Terra Pacis for Highest Drug Use, scoring 0.99 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.