The Underground Protectorate of Gemography is a titanic, genial nation, ruled by The Miner-Protector with a fair hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, keen interest in outer space, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 10.642 billion Gemographyians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Emerald City. The average income tax rate is 25.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Gemographyian economy, worth 431 trillion diamonds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery, Woodchip Exports, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 40,549 diamonds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Doctors prescribe medicines but they rarely dispense hope or compassion, lonely people are supposed to be cheered up by the many parties that they are never invited to, the "Dreadnowt" is the pride and joy of the Gemographyian Navy, and boats straying just metres away from the shore will raise the ire of the Coast Guard. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Gemography's national animal is the canary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is gem mining.

Gemography is ranked 64,940^th in the world and 4^th in The Sweet Ubiquity for Fattest Citizens, with 12.73 Obesity Rate.