The Awkward Adages of Geektopia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Nijchhōh I with an even hand, and remarkable for its closed borders, aversion to nipples, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 11.701 billion Kwandoites are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mordecai. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Geektopian economy, worth a remarkable 4,380 trillion cryptos a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 374,404 cryptos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Screams of citizens being "re-educated" echo throughout the rural regions of Geektopia, the roar of the Niagara 3000 mega-loo can be heard several blocks away, bargain-hunting is considered unpatriotic, and to 'cut off family ties' is no longer just a phrase. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Geektopia's national animal is the ass, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Math.

Geektopia is ranked 35,603^rd in the world and 123^rd in Europeia for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 5,728.68 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.