The Lýderal Dáxlamic Metropolis of First Parish is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Lýderis Bradford John with an iron fist, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 14.928 billion First Parishioners are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of First Parish. The average income tax rate is 91.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming First Parishian economy, worth a remarkable 1,592 trillion Dáxlamic Marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 106,664 Dáxlamic Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Search-and-rescue organisations are the biggest employer in the country, census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate, the number of eyes rolled per maths lesson is increasing exponentially, and sales of superhero insurance have skyrocketed after the government abandoned the police in favor of vigilantes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. First Parish's national animal is the Jumping Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Dáxlam.

First Parish is ranked 288,512^th in the world and 141^st in Declansburg for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector, scoring -7.56 on the Charon Conveyancy Index.