The Eldest of the New Cards Age of Federationalism is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by is bob with an even hand, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, frequent executions, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 3.25 billion exploited resources are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Industry and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Billion Buck Tycoon Simulator. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.8%.

The frighteningly efficient exploited economy, worth 795 trillion Very Uncorrupt Coins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 244,683 Very Uncorrupt Coins, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,233,869 per year while the poor average 27,051, a ratio of 45.6 to 1.

The government prides itself on being smug and condescending to idiots, one lone government employee can be seen hunting for the elusive stray white dog, a giant 'No Entry' sign is being erected at the borders of Federationalism, and the collars keep falling off pet snakes. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Federationalism's national animal is the Scopophobiated and Mutated Elmo, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Federationalism is ranked 282,843^rd in the world and 711^th in The Wellspring for Most Primitive, scoring -380.07 on the Scary Big Number Scale.