The Most Serene Republic of Featured Forest is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by The Green Man with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.24 billion Featured Foresters enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sequoia. The average income tax rate is 91.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Featured Forestian economy, worth 458 trillion marks a year, is highly specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 108,120 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Confused-looking pigeons slide gently off frictionless window ledges, no personal detail is too tiny for the suede-denim census police, The Green Man is described as an everyday person with normal tastes and the usual interests, and all you have to do is pray to get into Featured Forest. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Featured Forest's national animal is the Common raccoon, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Naturism.

Featured Forest is ranked 324,504^th in the world and 11^th in Slavija for Rudest Citizens, with 6.73 insults per minute.