The Federal Republic of Eustat is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by President with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-working population of 2.932 billion Eustatians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Orange City. The average income tax rate is 31.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Eustatian economy, worth 399 trillion Sints a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 136,371 Sints, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

Guns don't kill people — heroes do, a popular saying is "a chicken for every pot and an abortion clinic on every street", the government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia, and radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion. Crime is totally unknown. Eustat's national animal is the Green Turtle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Eustat is ranked 89,691^st in the world and 4,522^nd in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,068 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.