The United Socialist States of Eshonis is a very large, orderly nation, notable for its ritual sacrifices, keen interest in outer space, and ubiquitous missile silos. The cynical, devout population of 313 million Eshonisians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 60.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Eshonisian economy, worth 25.9 trillion Eshonisian rubles a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 82,666 Eshonisian rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government invades its allies more than its enemies, schoolkids say that the air doesn't taste like wee-wee any more, pregnant hitchhikers with signs requesting rides to "competent care" are a common sight on Eshonisian roads, and police officers have been re-kitted with designer uniforms and gold-plated handcuffs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eshonis's national animal is the Eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Eshonis is ranked 59,497^th in the world and 189^th in The Frontier Sea for Longest Average Lifespans, with 81.05 years.